| Normal English | Women's English |
| Yes | No |
| No | Yes |
| Maybe | No |
| I'm sorry | You'll be sorry |
| We need | I want |
| It's your decision | The correct decision should be obvious by now |
| Do what you want | You'll pay for this later |
| We need to talk | I need to complain |
| Sure go ahead | I don't want you to |
| I'm not upset | Of course I'm upset, you moron! |
| You're so manly | You need a shave and you sweat a lot |
| Be romantic, turn out the lights | I have flabby bits |
| This kitchen is too small | I want a new house |
| I want new curtains | and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper |
| I heard a noise | I noticed you were almost asleep |
| Do you love me? | I'm going to ask for something expensive |
| How much do you love me? | I did something today you're going to hate |
| I'll be ready in a minute | Kick off your shoes and find something good on TV |
| You have to learn to communicate | Just agree with me |
| Are you listening to me!? | [Too late, you're dead] |