TV Double-entendres
- Michael Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle a male
astronomer for warmth during BBC1's eclipse coverage
remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing
each other and he's come in his shorts."
- Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his
caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish
Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other
weeks he prefers to do it by himself."
- Mike Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky
Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's
misses every chance he gets."
- Jack Burnicle was talking about Colin Edwards' tyres on
World Superbikes: "Colin had a hard on in practice
earlier, and I bet he wished he had a hard on now."
- Chris Tarrant discussing the first Millionaire winner
Judith Keppel on This Morning: "She was practising
fastest finger first by herself in bed last night."
- Winning Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony
McCoy's formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look
between his legs and likes what he sees."
- Ross King discussing relays with champion runner Phil
Redmond: "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing
third leg."
- During the 1989 British Masters golf tournament,
commentator Richie Benaud observed: "Notices are
appearing at courses telling golfers not to lick their
balls on the green."
- Cricketer Neil Fairbrother hit a single during a Durham v
Lancashire match, inspiring Bobby Simpson to observe:
"With his lovely soft hands he just tossed it
off."
- Claire Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North
said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside
you on a cold night like this."
- James Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix,
asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the
backside by Barrichello?"
- Steve Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros
felt much better today after a 69."
- The new stand at Doncaster race course took Brough
Scott's breath away. "My word," he said.
"Look at that magnificent erection."
- Willie Carson was telling Claire Balding how jockeys
prepare for a big race when he said: "They usually
have four or five dreams a night about coming from
different positions."
- Steve Leonard, talking about vegetation on Vets In The
Wild, told Trude: "There's something big growing
between my legs."
- Carenza Lewis about finding food in the Middle Ages on
Time Team Live said: "You'd eat beaver if you could
get it."